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01 September 2009 @ 01:33 am
20th October 2006  
Words Mean Nothing
Your words meant too much to me. They were only ever passed through a computer screen. They were only ever typed on a small mobile phone. They came to me though wires - through waves. They meant too much to me. Deep down inside of me, I wanted to not believe them. But it was so hard, because I wanted to believe them - because I just wanted you.



But now, looking back, I realise how stupid I was all along I should have realised, your words never meant anything. How could they? How possibly could they? They never meant anything, your words were empty threats... unmeaningful poems.... hurtful nothingness.



Because now I realise, unless I hear you say something I must ignore it. Unless you announce your undying love for me ( you may have done that, in your mind).. and unless you are willing to tell every god damn human being on this earth, unless you are willing to scream it from the rooftops, unless you are willing to wear a sign with the truth on it for the rest of your days, I know not to believe it.



"Actions Speak Louder Than Words" Hell Yeah. You just never did any acting, did you? words fell from you easily - you had the charm and you had the beauty of language, and you typed it onto my screen, you typed it onto my phone, you sent it to me, thats the beauty of technology.



But when it came to the crunch, the actual words, these things that come out of my mouth, everything that is cascading from inside of me --- The words that we speak, well you never had them did you? You had the language, the charm, the grace. You didn't have the balls.



And now I know I'm stupid and pathetic, because I want nothing more than for the words to spring from your mouth, right now. At this moment in time, nothing is more important to me than you Talking - speaking - those words you claimed to mean...



Those words that messed me up inside. Those words that won my heart, locked it up inside a small box and wrote "forever mine" on the top.



Why, Why, Why, did you have to throw away the key?

- oct 20th